


Camp One Piece

by hundredsunny



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Summer Camp, Summer Camp AU, children everywhere, if this turns into camp rock im gonna kms, im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-11-29 18:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hundredsunny/pseuds/hundredsunny
Summary: The One Piece summer camp au absolutely no one asked for.Camp New World has always been a favorite with children, from the food, to the counselors, to the activities. Camp Grand Line, across the lake, has always lived in the shadow of Camp New World. However, when the head counselor for Camp Grand Line steps down, a new one steps into the spotlight and vows to see the end of Camp New World once and for all.I promise to God there will be no music battles.





	1. Welcome to Camp New World

**Author's Note:**

> if you saw this on my tumblr im sorry  
> if you're seeing this for the first time im sorry  
> god  
> this is a disaster  
> i hope you somewhat like it :')

It was a chillier morning than the camp was used to, so when Shanks had called for a staff meeting early in the morning, the complaints came rolling in at lightning speed. It had been four minutes since the meeting time had passed, and the only two employees standing before the red-haired man were the doctor and the goody two shoes. Shanks stood on a tree stump with a hand on his hip, sighing at the turnout. 

"Well, good morning, gentlemen," Shanks gave the two young men a salute. 

"Good morning," Sabo the goody two shoes responded. 

"Is it really?" Trafalgar Law muttered. He kicked around a stray pine cone with his boot, not looking up at Shanks or Sabo. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets, and his shoulders were completely slouched. Even the biggest idiot would have been able to figure out how much Law did not want to be at the camp. 

Sabo gave the thrilled doctor a quizzical look. 

"Of course it's a good morning. Today's the day where all the kids come."

Law kicked the pine cone too far away and heaved a deep sigh. He lifted his head up to look at Sabo, finally accepting the fact that he had nothing left to distract him. 

"Today's the day where I coop myself up in the doctor's office and deal with nauseous children for the remainder of the week." He held up two slim fingers. "If there's two things I hate, it's nausea and children. How lucky am I to have to deal with _both_ at the same time?"

"That's the kind of attitude that got you hired, Law," Shanks commented, earning a laugh from Sabo. Shanks then lifted his arm up to check the time on his watch. Still no sign of everyone else. 

"Okay, I'm giving myself permission to wake them the  _hell_ up," Shanks declared and hopped down from the tree stump. "Can you two fill me up a bucket of water each?"

Sabo and Law exchanged glances before nodding and walking away. Shanks felt a grin form on his lips. If they were going to abuse his meeting time, he was going to abuse their sleeping time. The staff members already knew what mischief Shanks would bestow upon them if they were to disobey his word. He assumed that they knew their punishment was coming. 

"You're really going to dump buckets of water on them?" Law asked as he came back with a full bucket. Some of the water sloshed over the sides, soaking Law's shoes. The raven-haired man heaved a deep sigh. 

"Of course I am. They need to learn to respect their elders."

"You're not even an elder," Law retorted. 

"Law, you're really a vibe killer. At the same time, I appreciate the compliment." Shanks took the bucket from Law and set it down next to the stump. "Now I just have to wait on Sabo."

"Please don't tell me you were gonna dump those on us," a tired voice came from behind Shanks. Shanks turned around and found the rest of the staff standing in front of him. Some of them were buried in jackets, while others barely had their eyes open. Overall, it was a pathetic sight. Shanks loved it. 

"This is sad," Shanks observed. "It's eight o'clock in the morning. You all are acting like it's three in the morning."

"We're _young_ , which is a trait that you can't relate to," came Ace's muffled response. 

"Ace, stop trying to act like you're fresh out of the womb," Sabo said as he approached the group with his bucket of water. The comment earned a few laughs and middle finger from Ace. 

"Being young has nothing to do with getting up at eight. It's a matter of being _responsible,_ which only two of you were," Shanks added. He took the other bucket from Sabo and got back on top of the tree stump. He nodded to the one bucket he held. "If I see anyone start to drift off, you're getting drenched."

"Suddenly, I'm wide awake. I don't know the meaning of being tired," Usopp said and threw his jacket off. "Let's get ready to camp, go team!"

The action earned a swat on the back of the head from Sanji the cook. "Shut your damn mouth with that fake enthusiasm shit." 

"Can you brats just pay attention to me?" Shanks asked at a louder volume. The group hushed. When he decided that enough eyes were on him, he began his meeting. 

"As you all know, the kids arrive today, around two. Before they get here, you all already know that I want you to make sure everything is in tip-top shape. Also, since you've all been with me for several years now, I expect you to know the rules. However, I'm just going to touch down on them again because some people just can't process them." He eyed Luffy and Ace, the two biggest culprits of the general rule-breaking. Ace held up his hands in defense, while Luffy pouted. 

"Rule one, no swearing around the children. For the love of God, stop swearing around the children. You all are horrible with this one."

There were murmurs of agreement. 

"Rule two! You keep your group with you at all times. You are not to let any camper wander off on their own." Shanks nodded towards the green-haired counselor who had a bad habit of separating himself from his entire group. "You. Zoro. You aren't allowed to sleep and have your kids roam everywhere. Rule two is you."

"The hell?" Zoro questioned. 

"You know damn well you do that," Sanji responded. "Irresponsible plant. You'll be the reason why someone dies."

"You wann-"

"Rule three! No violence. I swear upon the highest deity that's out there, if Zoro and Sanji come near each other, please separate them. That's the bonus rule three."

"Can you pay us each time we break up a Zoro and Sanji fight?" Nami piped up from the back of the group. She had a manipulative grin displayed on her face. 

Shanks cocked a brow. 

"Nami, you ask the same exact question every year. I give you the same exact answer every year."

"So you'll pay us ten dollars for every time we break up a fight? Got it," she declared. Vivi stifled a laugh next to her. 

"No. I'm not that loaded," Shanks denied. "Anyways, moving on. Rule four is to not do drugs or alcohol. At all."

Ace's hand shot up. Before Shanks could acknowledge him, he had already began speaking. 

"So, like, when you mean 'drugs' you mean _smoking_ too, right?"

"Ace, I'm going to drown you in the lake later," Sanji warned. 

"I know how to swim, idiot. You can't drown me," Ace said with a cocky grin. 

"Knowing how to swim won't save you when I'm holding your head down underwater," Sanji fired back. 

Shanks stared at the two bickering men. He could feel the life force leaving his body all at once. It was a common event that occurred whenever he worked around these kids. Shanks knew what had to be done in order to bring the focus back to him. He muttered a quick prayer to himself before he lifted the bucket he held in a position that would help him toss the water. The other counselors knew what was about to happen, yet none of them said a word. 

In a quick motion, Shanks pulled the bucket back and then proceeded to swing it forward, dumping all of the water on both Ace and Sanji, who were conveniently stood next to one another. 

"Can you morons stop calling each other out after every rule I say? I'm the only one that gets to call people out." Shanks dropped the empty bucket to the ground. "I'll have you know that I still have one full bucket left. Use your mouths wisely."

"Okay, I may be mistaken," Ace began after he shook his hair out like a dog, "but you said that you'd only drench people who were drifting off?"

"I have the ability to change my word anytime, Ace," Shanks responded. "These kinds of things should be lodged into your small brains by now, sheesh." Shanks shook his head with pity. "After all these years. Now!" He snapped his fingers. "Rule number-what number was I on? Dammit, look what you donkeys did."

"Number five," Sabo whisper-yelled. 

"Ah, number five! Thank you, Sabo." Shanks gave a small bow to the blond. "Rule number five is the most important rule. Pop quiz! Who knows it?"

"We stay the hell away from Camp Whatever-It's-Called!" Luffy called out. Shanks clapped his hand on his thigh. 

"Perfect. No one interacts with them, got it? If the children ask about it, say they're hallucinating." He hopped down from the log. "Let's give these little knuckleheads a grand summer!"

There were a few cheers in response to Shanks' words, though they were mostly halfhearted. Unhappy with the response, Shanks pointed to the full bucket on the ground. In no time at all, everyone was wildly cheering. 

"Good! Now prep the camp!"

\--

Getting all of the children settled in was always a nightmarish experience. Shanks never got the worst of it because he always left everyone else to deal with it firsthand, but the secondhand experience was just as hectic. He watched as children scampered all about the campground, screaming and laughing. Some children were already hanging onto the legs of the counselors. At this time, it was Zoro who got the worst of it. Two boys were wrapped around each of his legs, laughing maniacally. 

"This is gonna be a good summer, I can tell," Shanks said as he continued to watch the situation unfold. Law, who was standing stiffly beside him, let out an amused huff of air. 

"You say good, I say hellish."

The children's laughter increased as more tiny bodies ended up clinging on to the green-haired man. The sheer panic on his face was enough to have Sanji keeled over from laughter. 

Shanks turned his attention away from Zoro's death, faced Law, and placed his hand on his shoulder. The sudden contact caused Law to flinch. Shanks gave him an innocent smile. 

"Law, my friend, if this brooding attitude keeps making appearances, you will eat nothing but bread for the rest of the week."

Law's face paled. 

"You _monster_ ," he said through gritted teeth. 

Shanks gave his shoulder a few solid pats. "You remember what happened two summers ago. You know I'll do it."

Law shrugged off Shanks' hand and brought his gaze back to the mass of children. An undeniably fake smile was now displayed on his lips. It was almost sinister. 

"You're getting better with your act. I'm proud," Shanks observed and nodded with approval. Law let out a laugh that was as fake as his smile. 

"Hey, hey!" Luffy greeted as he jogged over with a little girl on his back. She was giggling madly, but when she saw Law, it stopped abruptly. 

"How's it goin'?" Shanks asked. 

"It's going good. I have a new friend. Her name's Cara, I think?"

The little girl paid no attention to Luffy's words. Instead, she stared intently at Law. Law avoided her harsh gaze for a few moments, but as it went on longer, he grew more unsettled. His false smile wavered under the intense stare. His false laugh became more abundant. Luffy tipped his head. 

"Traffunky, you're acting really weird. I thought you hated kid-"

"You have tattoos!" The little girl finally broke her silence, interrupting Luffy in the process. She pointed a small finger at Law, and a serious expression was displayed on her face. 

"Yeah," Law responded. 

"My mommy says tattoos are bad!" 

"Yeah."

"Then why do you have them?" She interrogated. 

"They're not bad."

"You just said that they _were_!" 

"I lied."

"My mommy says it's bad to lie!"

"I don't think your mom would like me."

The girl pouted. 

"You're _creepy_."

"Thank you."

Shanks attempted to hold in his laughter during the exchange. The amount of discomfort displayed in Law's body language was more comical than anything that could ever exit Ace's mouth. He saw Law heave a huge sigh of relief when Luffy took off with her to give another child a ride. 

"I'm going to go get some air," he declared. 

Shanks raised a brow. 

"Law, you're outside."

"You know what I mean." He waved his hand dismissively and stalked off to his small office. 

"You better be back in time for the annual counselor skit, or I'll bring the bread!" Shanks called out after him. Once Law had vanished, Shanks decided that it would be in his best interest to inform Sanji to begin making the meal for dinner. He wasn't surprised when he saw that Sanji was still in the same position, laughing at Zoro's misfortune. Zoro, on the other hand, was growing red in the face. Shanks approached the two of them. 

"Zoro, those are some nice legwarmers," Shanks greeted and nodded down to the children. They all giggled in response. Shanks then turned to Sanji. "I'm gonna need you to start makin' the meal for later."

Once Sanji had caught his breath from all the laughing, he nodded. "On it. Before I go, let me just do one thing." He dug through his deep pockets and pulled out his phone. He quickly snapped a picture of Zoro's struggle, then put his phone away. "Already making memories. What kinda meal are you thinking tonight?" He asked. 

"I'll leave it to you. You're the food genius," Shanks responded. Sanji nodded in confirmation and made his way to the mess hall. 

"I'm gonna kill him," Zoro muttered. 

Shanks clicked his tongue several times. "No violence in this camp, Zoro. Have a good time. You know the drill for the rest of the time until dinner. I'll be in my cabin." Shanks waved goodbye and exited the scene. 

 

"Hey, hey campers! Let's settle down for a quick second here!" Sabo's voice rang throughout the clearing. The noise died down a little, but there were still kids who continued to babble. 

"Who are you?" A kid demanded. 

Sabo hopped up on the tree stump that Shanks was standing on a few hours ago and waved. 

"Hi, hello, I'm Sabo, and you'll learn more about me later. For right now, let's all find a spot to sit so we can learn some names! Ooooh, fun!"

"No one likes you!" Ace yelled, causing some kids to laugh. Sabo rolled his eyes. 

"Ha, very funny. Anyway, we're just gonna divide you all up into smaller groups, so it'll be easier to learn your names rather than all at once!"

"No one likes you!" This time, the insult came from a boy standing next to Ace. He high-fived him.

"Hey now, let's be respectful!" Koala's voice advised. Sabo silently thanked her. 

"You can decide if anyone likes Sabo or not after you get to know him more, okay?" She added. 

"I uh...yeah, sure. What she said. Now, the counselors are gonna split you guys up! Pay attention!" He hopped down from the stump. 

Five minutes went by before the campers were split up into four smaller groups, each with two counselors. The campers had all calmed down a bit after getting their arrival energy out of their systems, though some of them still had unstoppable mouths. 

"Okay, this is fun!" Sabo clapped his hands together and smiled at his small group. Luffy stood next to him, completely disconnected from the scene. He absentmindedly shoved his pinky finger up his nose. The action caused some children to laugh and others to grimace. Sabo's attention wasn't directed to it until a girl shrieked and yelled, "Ew!". 

When Sabo saw the marvelous sight of Luffy picking his nose, his face contorted into a horrified expression. 

" _Luffy_!" He swatted the younger counselor's arm.

"Huh? Oh, I wasn't paying attention. Hi!" Luffy greeted, with his pinky still shoved up his nose. 

Sabo stared at him, mouth hanging open with astonishment. 

"Why are you picking your nose?" A girl asked, looking up at him with wide brown eyes. 

"Hm?" Luffy tipped his head and pulled his finger out of his nose. To everyone's horror, there was something on the end of his pinky. However, Luffy didn't seem to care. He rolled the content between his thumb and pinky before flicking it directly at Sabo's face. 

Sabo shrieked, which brought everyone's attention to him. Other groups had stopped their chatter just to observe what set off the blond man this time around. 

"Hey, shut up over there! We're trying to make friends!" Ace called out from his group. 

Ignoring Ace's comment, Sabo grabbed Luffy by the collar of his shirt and yanked him closer.

"Luffy, I am going to..." He trailed off as he realized he was about to break one of the rules. He looked at the children's puzzled faces, awkwardly chuckling. He released Luffy and gave his chest a nudge. 

"Luffy, I am going to advise you not to fling, erm, boogers at your fellow counselors," Sabo said. 

Luffy shrugged in response. "Okay." 

Sabo rolled his eyes at the nonchalant response. 

"Now, let's start with our names. Who wants to go first?" Sabo asked. 

"That thing on your eye is scary," a boy blurted out. Luffy laughed. 

"Sabo's scar? He fought a guy, that's how he got it. Don't worry, Sabo killed him."

Sabo's face turned white at Luffy's blatant lie. He wildly waved his hands, trying to shake off the comment. 

"That's not true. I did not kill a man, nor will I ever."

"You're a murderer?" The same boy asked. 

"No, I'm n-"

"Damn right he is. He's a beast," Luffy added. Sabo wanted nothing more than to die at that moment. 

"Why is a murderer working here?" A girl questioned. 

"Murderer!" 

"This is scary!"

"I'm not a murderer! Luffy's just an idiot," Sabo clarified. 

"No, I'm not the idiot. That's you. You're an idiot and a murderer," Luffy responded. Sabo threw his hands in the air, fed up with the fact that Luffy kept pressing the subject. 

From his cabin window, Shanks observed everything and chuckled when he saw Sabo's arms shoot up. 

"He's always the first one to lose his mind. Poor guy."

He turned away from the window and sat at his desk. During the first minutes of his alone time, Shanks would normally pull out a book and start numbing his mind, but this time around, he wasn't feeling it. Instead, he opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out a small flask. This was a better way to numb the mind.

"No one will suspect that I'm a rule-breaker. I'm the damn boss." He hummed and set the flask on the desk and proceeded to unscrew the cap. He was honestly surprised at himself for residing to alcohol this quickly, but he then convinced himself that he deserved it. He'd been doing the same thing for years, he definitely deserved it. 

As he took a swig, a knock at the door made him choke in the middle of it. He screwed the cap back on as quickly as a one-armed man could, and threw the flask back in the drawer. 

"Come in!" Shanks called out, kicking the drawer shut. 

The door opened, and in walked one of Shanks' old colleagues. His long blue hair was tied in a ponytail and the same frown that Shanks had grown used to was etched onto his face. 

"Buggy!" Shanks greeted. He stood up and draped his arm around the other man's shoulders. "It's been ages, my friend!"

Buggy shrugged Shanks' arm off of his shoulders, cringing. "You're still as disgustingly touchy as ever."

"That's just me being friendly." He gave Buggy's back a heavy pat, which sent him lurching forward. "What brings you here today?"

Buggy muttered a string of curses under his breath as he rubbed the spot where Shanks had hit him. Then, he grinned as if nothing had happened. 

"Well, y'see the old man Crocodile doesn't run Camp Grand Line anymore."

Shanks' mouth dropped. Then, a large, cocky grin appeared on his face. 

"He couldn't handle the competition with us, huh? It's about damn time. Let's drink to that, eh, Buggy?" Shanks walked back over to the desk and pulled open the drawer.

"He left because he just wasn't good with kids," Buggy responded. He watched Shanks place two glasses on the desk's surface, filling them up with alcohol shortly after. 

"It took him five years to realize that?" Shanks asked and picked up a glass. He held it out to Buggy, but Buggy only eyed it. 

"Doesn't matter. I'm just here to tell you that I'm the new leader of Camp Grand Line." 

The glass that Shanks had offered to Buggy dropped to the floor and shattered into dozens of pieces. If Buggy had a camera, he wouldn't have hesitated to take a picture of the face Shanks was making. The red-haired man's jaw was practically on the floor, and his eyes were wider than anything he's ever seen. A wave of triumph washed over Buggy, seeing Shanks panic like this. He almost laughed in his face, but then Shanks took Buggy completely off guard. 

Shanks let out a hearty laugh and playfully punched Buggy in the shoulder. 

"Buggy! I didn't know you had the guts to run a camp!"

Buggy's eye twitched at the man's reaction. He was stomping all over his parade. 

"Yeah, well, I didn't know you had the guts to openly destroy my self-confidence, but little did I know," Buggy muttered. 

"This is gonna be fun! I hope you don't bail out on me too soon," Shanks said. 

"Ah, no." This time, it was Buggy who initiated contact with Shanks. He placed a hand delicately on the man's shoulder. "I also came here to tell you that I'm going to absolutely obliterate your camp."

The two men stood in silence with Buggy's threat still lingering in the air. Buggy hoped to see actual, genuine panic appear on Shanks' face, but to his dismay, it never came. Instead, Shanks burst into laughter yet again. Buggy narrowed his eyes and dropped his hand from his frenemy's shoulder, balling his fists. 

"That's really cute, Buggy. I always admired how you dreamed big."

"You think I'm joking, huh?"

Shanks looked around as if there were other people in the room to get an answer from. Then, he looked back at Buggy. 

"Well, yeah. No one beats my camp. Everything here is top-notch. The food, the counselors, the activities, everything."

Buggy snorted. 

"Listen here, you red-haired asswipe. I'm gonna bring Camp Grand Line up from the wreckage. I've got some new, expert counselors that'll send yours running to their mommies. My activities are gonna blow yours outta the water! Literally! My camp is gonna be the flashiest camp of all time, Shanks!"

"Buggy, you need a nap," Shanks said as a response. Buggy decided that he had enough. 

"Kiss my ass!" He turned and headed for the door. Before he exited, he halted and turned his head so he could give Shanks an intimidating side-eye. 

"You've been warned Shanks. Mess with me and you'll rue the day! Make way for the flashiest camp!" 

Buggy cackled and finally left, leaving Shanks alone with the threat. Shanks brushed it off without a second thought. He knew that Buggy was a very finicky man and it would only be a matter of time before Buggy stepped down, just like Crocodile. Buggy would only panic under the pressure of handling so many kids.

The faith Shanks had in his own camp was unwavering. Sure, it really was a disaster behind the scenes, but when business presented itself, it was taken care of professionally. He'd never heard of any other camp that got as much praise as Camp New World did. 

"I hate to be this cocky, but there's really no one on earth who can beat us," Shanks thought aloud. "Ah, except maybe that one camp that had the whole music thing going on. They'd probably destroy us." 

\--

Evening had rolled around. The counselors managed to survive the name game, and now, dinner time had arrived. It took some hefty time before the campers finished their food. There was always someone throwing some across the mess hall, and the distraction prevented everyone else from finishing their food, which prevented Shanks from starting the annual Camp New World skit. Looking at the scene, he could tell that Sanji was going to have a late night trying to clean the mess up. He thought about having every employee help clean it.

Shanks made his way up on the small stage at the front of the mess hall and raised his hand when the time was right. The murmur of the children died down as they acknowledged his presence. 

"Hello, campers!" Shanks said with a smile. "Welcome to Camp New World! Are you ready to have a killer week?"

There were some cheers in response. 

"There's a killer working here, did you know?" One kid called out. 

"No, no, don't worry. That's a myth," Shanks answered. Where did that come from? 

"Anyway, you're about to see a great skit that introduces each staff member! Before we hop right to that, though, I need to go over some rules. Rules are boring, aren't they?"

Most kids nodded in agreement. 

"Great minds think alike, after all." Shanks tapped his index finger on his temple. "My rules aren't boring! If you follow them, you get rewards!"

Expressions of excitement and wonder filled the mess hall. The mention of rewards hooked the campers every time. 

"The rules are only to have fun, respect the staff, and not mess with the camp across the lake! If you follow all the rules perfectly, our lovely chef Sanji's got a whole stash of sweets to distribute."

Shanks knew damn well Sanji didn't have anything close to a stash of sweets. He already felt the cook's intense stare on him. How else was he supposed to make the kids cooperate? The only thing that was ever on their minds was adventuring and candy. More excited chattering filled the room. 

"Yeah, that's right," Sanji added from back in the kitchen. It was unconvincing. 

"Awesome! Do you all understand the rules?"

A chorus of confirmation responded to Shanks. He nodded with satisfaction. 

"Cool, now stay put while we prepare out extremely amazing skit for you!" Shanks hopped off the front of the stage and approached his staff members who were all gathered near the kitchen. He noticed that Sabo and Ace had food all over the front of their shirts. He decided not to waste his breath on them. 

"Okay, prep for the skit! Just be lively and make sure you don't make complete fools of yourselves. Remember that I come in last, because I'm the best. Got it? Break legs." Shanks gave the group a thumbs-up. "Oh, make sure Law really shines," he added and slapped Law hard on the back. 

The employees filed onto the stage, smiling as best they could. They've all done this for years, but it was still intimidating to get up in front of an army of children and try and impress them. 

Nami looked at the sea of faces sitting before them. She didn't know why, but a strange aura filled the room. This was either about to be extremely disastrous, or extremely successful. She looked down the line at Ace, who always started off the act. To her dismay, he was distracted with wiping the food off of his shirt and putting it on Luffy's. Luffy wildly swatted Ace's hands away, but Ace deflected one of the swats, causing it to hit Zoro in the face. Zoro, who was standing on the other side of Luffy, glared down at the smaller guy. Laughter had already erupted from the audience. 

They were doomed. 

"Psst! Ace! Luffy! Zoro! Not now!" Nami leaned over and hissed at the three young men. Unfortunately, her warning had no affect on them. Zoro had already grabbed Luffy by the ear. 

"Hey, isn't this Camp New World?" Sabo interjected, reciting what Ace should have. "I heard this was a pretty cool place to be!" 

"Yeah, it sure is! Welcome to the greatest camp ever!" Nami said, trying to make the line sound as genuine as possible. At least it was her line to begin with. 

She prayed that Ace would hop back on his part rather than continue to mess with Luffy and Zoro. Luckily, he caught on. 

"Wow, who are you?" He asked. 

"I'm Nami! One of the counselors here. Would you like me to show you around?" 

Ace stepped forward and clapped his hands together. "Oh, boy. I would sure love that!"

Every year, the employees had to try their very hardest not to cringe while running through the cursed skit. Shanks had written it poorly on purpose. He always got a kick out of watching his staff suffer. 

At this point in the skit, everyone had to move around to different areas of the stage to represent the different parts of camp. Normally, the transition was clean, but not this year. Vivi had accidentally stepped on Usopp's foot, causing him to yelp out in pain. She stopped in her tracks and apologized profusely, but her sudden halt caused Luffy to bump into her, which set Sanji off. 

"Luffy, watch where you're going, moron! Don't just bump into her like that!"

The children's laughs escalated. 

"Ha, ha, ha, let me show you to our first stop!" Nami raised her voice to divert the attention away from the stumbling mess happening behind her and Ace. "The first stop is the archery field!" She pulled Ace over to where Usopp stood. He was still slightly hunched over, trying to massage the pain away from his foot. When he saw Nami and Ace standing in front of him, he stood up straight and waved. 

"Hello, new friend! I am the wonderful, fantastic, marvelous, talented Usopp!" He bowed. 

Usopp was always the one to add lines to make himself shine brighter than the others. Nami always wanted to punch him for it. 

"Wow, that sure sounds like a lie," Ace said. Nami elbowed him in the side reminding him to not improvise. 

"I mean, wow, nice to meet you, Usopp. What do you do here?"

Usopp placed his hands on his hips and puffed his chest out. 

"I'm in charge of all things archery! If you want to come practice, just let me know! I am the world's greatest archer, after all!"

Ace shot him an extremely false smile. "Okay, bye." He waved and walked over to where Luffy and Vivi stood. 

"What's your deal?" 

Ace wasn't acting anymore. 

"What's _your_ deal?" Luffy echoed. 

"I asked you first," Ace said. 

"Uh, um, our deal is that we like to play kickball," Vivi interrupted. "Luffy and I like to play kickball. It's one of the many things you can do here at Camp New World. We also like to go on walks and stuff, right, Luffy?"

"Vivi, that wasn't the line. I'm confused now," Luffy said, giving the blue-haired girl a puzzled look. 

"You're the one who went along with Ace's unscripted mess!" she whispered. 

"So it's Ace's fault!" Luffy crossed his arms and shot Ace a dirty look. 

"Whoa, look, there's really good food over there, let's check it out!" Nami grabbed Ace and pulled him over to Zoro and Sanji. She knew that this was going to be the messiest scene yet. She hated that Shanks had written them to be in the same group. 

"I'm the cook, Sanji. I make everything here." Sanji bowed slightly. 

"It's awful food," Zoro muttered, causing Sanji to whip around to face him. 

"Huh?!"

Nami glared at the both of them as if she was saying "keep it up, I dare you". 

"You heard me, I said it was awful food. No wonder Law gets so many sick kids. They all get sick from your disgusting food."

Nami kicked both of their shins, causing them to hop around in pain for a few seconds. More laughter. 

Once the pain had vanished from their shins, Zoro and Sanji caught on. They quickly draped their arms over each other's shoulders, laughing like little school girls. 

"Sanji's cooking is the b-be-best," Zoro struggled to spit the compliment out. 

"Thanks, Zoro! You're my greatest fr-friend!" 

Ace couldn't hold back his cringe any longer. He was physically uncomfortable from such an unfamiliar, unsettling sight. He wanted nothing more to do with this scene, so he slowly backed away. In the process of doing so, he backed into Sabo. 

"Ace, watch where you're going!" Sabo warned. 

"Dude, did you just get more food on my shirt?" Ace asked and tried to look at the back of his shirt. Sure enough, the food that was on the front of Sabo's shirt transferred onto the back of his own. Frowning, Ace turned to face Sabo. "You knew I was gonna back into you, didn't you?"

Sabo stared at Ace, baffled by the accusation. 

"Are you kidding me? How was I supposed to know that you were just gonna walk right into me?"

"You had this planned, you dumba-"

"DUMB ACE, silly Ace, you're no longer in the mess hall, you're out here at the lake, where you can swim and play all sorts of water games!" Sabo quickly cut Ace off. "Right, Koala?"

"Uh, yeah," she answered insincerely. She was thrown off by all of the chaos unfolding, as was Nami. 

"Sick? Did I hear that someone's sick? Oh, no, let's go to the doctor!" Nami led Ace over to Law, who stood stiffly, like always. He looked at the two of them in silence. Nami and Ace waited for him to begin his first of three lines, but he refused to open his mouth. They sat in an uncomfortable silence until he finally gave in.

"Can I help you?" he mumbled. 

"Yeah, this guy isn't feeling too well," Nami gestured to Ace. 

"Well, that sure does suck," Law responded. Nami slapped her palm to her forehead. 

"Yeah, I got attacked by a bear. My arm is falling off," Ace said. 

"Did someone say bears?" Usopp asked from across the stage. "I've fought all sorts of bears here at this camp! If you walk around with me, no bears will ever approach you!"

Luffy gasped. 

"For real?! Usopp, wow, you fought bears?!" 

Usopp nodded and grinned. "Of course I've fought bears. That's my specialty, aside from archery."

"Usopp, if you say one more thing about fighting bears, I'm going over there and booting you off of the stage," Sanji threatened. 

"HEY! Hey, why don't we all listen to what Doctor Law has to say about treating wounds from...from bear attacks!" Sabo suggested. 

"You die," Law responded. 

Nami turned away from the scene and sat down in the middle of the stage. There was no way she could put anymore effort into such a disaster. The entire room grew silent as Law's words registered in everyone's heads. He had only three lines, and every year, he only managed to get one of them correct. His scene always took a morbid turn. 

Suddenly, there was a light thud as a piece of bread landed on the stage at Law's feet. He looked down at it, completely mortified. He knew there was only one man behind this. Shanks was laughing madly from where he stood by the kitchen. Everyone's attention turned to him. 

"My, what a wild crew we've got here!" He said and got on the stage. "It is I, the leader of the camp, Shanks!" He gestured to his missing arm. "Speaking of bears, I lost this to a bear! Crazy, huh? The only reason Usopp knows how to defeat bears is because I taught him everything I know about bear fighting."

The kids stared at Shanks in awe. 

"I am the hero of Camp New World. I fight the evil across the lake all the time, and I always emerge victorious. I am here to protect my people. Long live Camp New World!" He bowed and the campers cheered wildly. 

"Now, go outside and sit on the logs! We're about to have a s'mores party! You are dismissed!" Shanks declared. The campers piled out of the mess hall, leaving the mess and the staff behind. Shanks placed his hand on his hip and turned to face his employees. 

"That was honestly the worst thing I have ever seen. You probably followed the script once. Everything else was just an improvised mess." He let out a sigh. "Man, I was really looking forward to the part where Law transformed into the fairy doctor so he could prep everyone for battle against the other camp. You guys didn't even _mention_ the other camp. I had to do all that for you."

"Well, at least they laughed at the stuff we improvised," Ace said. 

 

"You all need acting classes," Shanks commented. "Ace, Usopp, Law, go start the campfires. The rest of us will handle bringing out the s'mores stuff."

The three guys left the mess hall to attend to their duties. 

"I'll find the chocolate. The graham crackers and the marshmallows are just sitting on the counter, so just take those out," Sanji ordered and walked into the kitchen. He began rummaging around in an attempt to locate the chocolate. 

"Does it matter what kind of chocolate it is?" Sanji asked with his head buried in the fridge. 

"Whatcha got?" Shanks asked as he entered the kitchen and picked up a bag of marshmallows. 

"Milk and dark." 

"Well, there's always those weird kids who like dark, so it's better that you have both options," Shanks answered. 

"Got it."

Before the s'more gatherers could bring everything outside, Law strolled back into the mess hall. 

"So there's some weird people coming over on canoes."

Shanks exited the kitchen and narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Weird people. Canoes. Approaching our camp," Law responded. 

"Why?"

"Do you just expect me to hold the answers to everything? I don't have a clue," Law responded. 

"That wasn't a question for you, smartass, I was just thinking aloud," Shanks said. 

"Are we under attack?" Luffy asked as he shoved marshmallows into his mouth. 

"I hope not. I need a warning in advance if we're gonna hop into battle," Shanks answered and walked outside. Ace was still busy lighting the fires, while Usopp was pacing back and forth. Shanks approached Usopp and handed him the bag of marshmallows. "Where are these weird people on canoes?" Shanks asked. 

Usopp pointed out to the lake. Shanks could see several boats approaching the beach on their side. Each boat had a small lantern glowing at the front of it, even though it wasn't dark enough to really need lanterns yet. There was one canoe slightly ahead of the others, and a figure was standing inside it, with a fist raised in the air. The situation would have been more fitting if there were cannons firing. Shanks knew that the standing individual thought the same. It would've been the only way to make a perfect, _flashy_ entrance. 

"For Christ's sake, Buggy," Shanks muttered. "You're already gonna make us break one of our most important rules." 


	2. Take A Hike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 is here i hope you're ready to experience this   
> im sorry it took so long i was in new york all of last week and i had like 2 birthday parties to attend as soon as i got home  
> buggy's "flashy" entrance you are about to see was partially inspired by jack sparrow  
> ENJOY

Buggy had it all planned out. He was going to make the most flashy entrance anyone would ever see in their lifetime. He was going to step out of the canoe and land effortlessly on the beach, leaving Shanks and his dumb counselors in awe. Buggy was unfortunately too lost in his thoughts, which caused him to miss the warning from Galdino. The boat rode up onto the rocky shore and sent Buggy flying forward, landing face-first on the beach.

Shanks, Usopp, Ace, and the campers watched as the strange man took an epic tumble onto their territory. A low whistle emitted from Ace's mouth.

"That was rough, buddy," he commented.

The man lied face-down on the shore even as the rest of the canoes came. The people occupying them hopped out and walked past him, putting in no effort to bat an eyelash at their fallen leader.

"Buggy, you okay down there? Do you need me to have my doctor bring some stuff over in case you've got a nose bleed or something?" Shanks asked.

"No," came Buggy's muffled response. Suddenly, the blue-haired man leapt to his feet and placed his hands on his hips triumphantly, as if he didn't just take the fall of his life. "No!" He said once again. Shanks wasn't convinced by his old friend's answer as he saw a line of blood trickle down from his nose.

"Shanks! I hope you're quaking in your boots!" Buggy called out and pointed a finger at Camp New World's head counselor.

"I'm not even wearing boots," Shanks responded.

Damn that Shanks, always throwing Buggy off of his high horse. The laughter from the children behind Shanks caused Buggy's confidence to shatter. He quickly shook off the defeat.

"Anyway! I'm here to show you what a real dream team looks like-wait, where are all your counselors? I only see two here right now." Buggy scratched his chin. "Can you get the rest? I'll wait here."

Ace and Usopp exchanged puzzled glances. They had never seen an individual as strange as the one standing before them.

"Okay? Usopp, can you run and get everyone else?" Shanks turned and asked his long-nosed employee. Usopp nodded and jogged to the mess hall to gather his coworkers.

Other than the occasional cracking of campfires, everyone sat in silence. Even the children remained silent. Buggy looked around the camp and twiddled his thumbs. The counselors standing near him were all whispering to each other, not entirely engaged in the situation.

"Lovely weather we're having huh?" Ace broke the silence.

"I mean, it's a little chillier than we're used to," Buggy responded. Several of his counselors nodded in agreement. Then, everyone drifted back into silence. Ace and Shanks exchanged a glance.

"He's acting so casual now," Ace whispered. "It feels weird."

"That's Buggy for you," Shanks responded. "A very versatile actor."

"Okay, I got everyone!" Usopp called as he walked back towards Shanks with the rest of the group following.

"Aha! I hope you're all ready to face the dreamiest team this lake has seen!" Buggy jumped into a character change.

"Who are you?" Zoro asked.

Damn that Shanks, hiring people who were just as capable as throwing Buggy off of his high horse.

"I'm Buggy, the flashy new  head counselor of Camp Grand Line!"

Buggy expected more of a reaction than he got. He only received blank stares and heard children whisper "he's creepy".

"We're not supposed to talk to you," Luffy stated. "It's against the rules." He casually roasted a marshmallow in the fire next to him in the process of speaking to Buggy.

Buggy stomped on the ground. "I don't care if it's against the rules! You all are gonna listen to me!"

He was greeted by silence again.

"Okay, spit it out, Buggy," Shanks encouraged. "You're cutting into our s'mores party."

Buggy gestured to the people standing beside him.

"These are the best counselors this world has to offer! Galdino, Boa Hancock, Wanze, Hogback, Perona, Alvida, Kaku, Mohji, Cabaji, and Yonji!"

"Congratulations," came the sarcastic response from Zoro.

"Okay, cool, nice to meet you all. Get out of my cam-"

" _Yonji_?" Sanji's horrified voice questioned, abruptly cutting Shanks off. Buggy nodded.

"Yes, Yonji. A prized employee of mine."

"SANJI, WHOA, THAT GREEN-HAIRED GUY HAS SWIRLY EYEBROWS TOO!" Luffy yelled and jogged over to the other man. Luffy furrowed his brows as he closely examined his face. "Your eyebrows don't swirl the same way. Are you like a cousin to Sanji or something?"

"No. I'm his brother," the man responded with a smirk.

"SANJI! YOUR BROTHER'S HERE!" Luffy yelled again. The brother winced at the volume.

"I see that you absolute idiot!" Sanji yelled back, not quite at the same volume as Luffy. " _That's_ Yonji!"

Buggy observed the situation for a few moments before his body shook with a deep laugh. "A brotherly rivalry. I've hit the jackpot!"

"Okay, you've introduced your people, now leave. We have s'mores we wanna devour!" Shanks informed. "Luffy, come back over here."

"Okay!" Luffy turned to jog back over, but he accidentally elbowed the tall woman standing next to Yonji in the process. "Oh, sorry!" Luffy gave her an apologetic smile before he reunited with his camp. The woman opened her mouth to say something back, but she suddenly covered her mouth. Yonji eyed her suspiciously. For the rest of the confrontation, she continued to steal glances of Luffy.

"This is not the last time you'll see us, Shanks!" Buggy raised his fists in the air. "Children! If you want a real fun time, join me and my counselors across the lake! We have a camp  _dog!_ "

"Dog?!" Kids began to react to the revelation.

"I wanna see a dog!"

"Where's the dog?"

"Shanks, why don't we have a dog?" Ace asked.

"Hey! We have a dog, he just wanders around the woods all the time. You haven't seen him yet," Shanks lied.

"We have a camp dog?!" Luffy asked, bouncing excitedly.

" _You_  have a camp dog?" Buggy asked at the same time.

Damn that Shanks!

"Yes we do, Luffy, shush. Goodbye, Buggy! Let us enjoy our s'mores in peace!"

Buggy huffed.

"Like I said, this won't be the last you'll see of us! Camp Grand Line, move out! Flashily!"

Buggy's counselors stood around, the command completely flying over their heads. Buggy snapped his fingers at them, irritated that he was now unable to exit the way he wanted to.

"Hey! You lot! Back to the canoes! We're leaving!" He turned and stomped back to his canoe and hopped in. As all of Buggy's employees piled back into the canoes, the woman that Luffy had elbowed stared longingly back at the rival group. Something was stirring within her.

Luffy was waving wildly at them, but Zoro swatted his hands down. The woman found herself laughing softly at the interaction.

"Oi, Hancock, what're you laughing at? Those uglies?" pink-haired Perona asked.

"Please, not  _all_  of them are  _uglies_ ," Hancock responded as she flipped her long, black hair over her shoulder. "Let me laugh at whatever I desire to laugh at."

Perona raised a brow, then shook her head. "You're really freakin' weird."

Shanks watched as the Camp Grand Line canoes sailed away across the lake. He should've expected Buggy to come along and pull something like this. It was part of his nature. Especially to talk about something as irrelevant as his counselors.

Worried that the talk of the other camp was going to continue, Shanks spun around to face the campers and shot them a wide smile. "How about those s'mores, huh?"

"YEAH!" Came the overwhelming response. Shanks was thankful their minds snapped away from the mention of a dog so quickly. However, he knew that they weren't going to stay quiet about it forever. Shanks located Law and leaned closer to the doctor.

"I need you to find a dog."

Law stepped back and gave Shanks a bewildered look.

" _What?_ "

"I need you to find a dog. Any dog."

"Where the  _hell_ -" Law stopped himself as Shanks gave him a look. "Where the  _heck_ ," Law emphasized the new word, "am I going to find a  _dog_  here?"

Shanks shrugged. "I'unno. Take a hike. I'm sure you'll find plenty of dogs out here."

"I just lost brain cells listening to that sentence," Law muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You genuinely believe that if I wander out into the wilderness, I'll find a perfectly domesticated dog?"

"Yes."

"I really loathe you right now."

"That's the spirit!" Shanks clapped his hand on Law's back, a gesture that Law was too used to.

"I'm not looking for a stupid dog in the middle of the woods just so you can show up the guy from across the lake," Law advised.

"What'd you say, Sabo? I'll be right over!" Shanks shot Law an annoyingly innocent grin before walking away from him.

"Bastard," Law mumbled.

\--

The s'mores extravaganza was much more tranquil than anyone expected. Normally, the campers would have bounced off of the walls after consuming chocolate, but surprisingly, they all sat around and engaged in civil conversations.

They had been sent to their cabins for bed half an hour ago, leaving the Camp New World staff to enjoy the night how they wanted to. The cracking of the orange fire soothed everyone's minds, allowing them to sit in silence and just enjoy each other's company.

"So what was that I heard about there being a killer in this camp?" Shanks asked.

Sabo groaned from his spot across from Shanks.

"Luffy told our group that I killed a man and now they all think I'm a murderer." He pointed a chocolate-covered finger at Luffy, who was sat in between he and Ace. "He said that was how I got my scar, from fighting a man I ended up killing!"

"It was funny, I don't see what the problem was," Luffy commented as he shoved a giant s'more into his mouth. Chocolate dripped all over his fingers, but he didn't hesitate to wipe it all on Ace, who didn't seem to notice at all. Instead, Ace was focused on the fire dancing before him.

"Hey, hey, Shanks, do we really have a dog?" Usopp asked, changing the subject. "It's been on my mind all night."

Shanks stared at Usopp with a dull expression.

"Usopp, you've been working here for  _years_. Have you  _ever_  seen a dog here?"

Usopp blinked. "No, I-"

"There is no dog. At least, not right now. Law's gonna get us one."

All eyes turned to the doctor. 

"TRAFFTACULAR! You're getting us a dog?!" Luffy asked with a mouthful of marshmallow in his mouth.

"No. Shanks is lying to you," Law responded. He was absentmindedly poking a stick into the fire, disinterested in everything the group was discussing. A pout formed at Luffy's lips as he processed the doctor's words.

"You're letting the entire camp down, Law," Shanks pitied, clicking his tongue several times. Law's response was a very slim middle finger, and the group shared a laugh. Once they had drifted off into silence for another few moments, it was Vivi who spoke up. 

"Hey, what're we going to do about that Buggy guy?" 

Shanks waved his hand dismissively. "I don't want any of you to worry about it. Nothing's gonna happen as long as I'm around. We just need to stay focused and keep doing what we do best, yeah?"

The group murmured with confirmation. 

"And if I see you guys stressing over someone as dumb as Buggy, I'm gonna boot your asses into the lake," Shanks added. 

"Sounds like a plan, Stan," Ace gave a thumbs-up. 

Shanks shifted his position on the log he was sitting on and leaned forward. The counselors subconsciously leaned forward as well, as if they knew this was a top-secret exchange of words. Shanks looked around at the group with a cocked brow before speaking. 

"Think of it like this: Buggy is just a figment of your imaginations. He isn't real."

His comment was returned with empty stares. The only person who seemed to take Shanks' words seriously was Luffy, who was nodding vigorously. 

"It all makes sense. He looks too weird to be real," Luffy responded, scratching his chin in thought. The comment earned a hearty laugh from Shanks. Some counselors nodded in agreement, finally seeing where Shanks' initial comment came from. 

"Y'know, that's fair. I can deal with that," Usopp agreed. 

"Yeah, like who walks around with electric blue hair anyway?" Ace questioned. A marshmallow flew across the fire and hit the freckled man in the forehead. Vivi was on the other side of the throw, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised quizzically. 

"Besides Vivi?" He fixed the question and rubbed the spot on his forehead where the marshmallow made contact. Vivi nodded with satisfaction. 

"Okay, wait, this is so stupid," Sanji spoke up, bringing the attention to him. "How do you expect me to just ignore this guy when he actually has my  _brother_  as one of his counselors?" 

"Your brother is a figment of your imagination," Zoro responded curtly. "Stop bitching about it."

The comment earned a menacing glare from Sanji, but before the blond cook could act upon his irritation, Shanks stood up and cleared his throat. 

"Okay, I loved stuffing my face with marshmallows with you all, but it's getting late. You all need to get your beauty sleep so you can function properly tomorrow. Clean up here and then you can go to bed. Cheers!" Shanks gave the group a wave before strolling away to his cabin. 

"Okay, none of us really want to clean at all, so nose goes!" Nami chirped and placed her index finger on her nose. 

The rest of the employees followed suit, except for Law, who was preoccupied with moving dirt around with the toe of his shoe. 

"Law, have a good time cleaning up, my man!" Ace said. 

Law's head shot up. 

"What." 

"You never put your finger on your nose. Even if you did, you'd be the last person anyway. You're cleaning up tonight, congrats!" Usopp exclaimed and clapped several times. 

"I didn't even hear you," Law protested. 

"That sucks. You're a doctor, aren't you? Just run a hearing check on yourself," Sanji said. "Then you'll hear us next time."

"You-"

A large and loud yawn interrupted Law. He brought his eyes over to Zoro, who was now stood up and stretching. 

"Okay, we're all tired. Goodnight," Zoro said and began to walk away. In no time at all, the rest of the employees left as well, leaving Law hunched over by the fire. 

"For the love of  _fuck_ ," Law mumbled. 

\--

The first morning of a full day at camp was always chaotic. Campers were always spastic and the more spastic they were, the more trouble it gave Sanji at breakfast. The breakfast that Sanji had to face today was undoubtedly messy, and he dreaded the hours he'd have to spend cleaning everything up while the rest of the counselors took the campers out until lunch. 

When breakfast had finished, the campers were split into smaller groups. Each counselor would take them to different activities throughout the day, and rotate the activity every hour and a half. For Usopp, this was the greatest day the year had to offer. He was always assigned to lead his group of campers on a hike as the first activity. Not only was he spared from dealing with the hellish temperatures that would appear later in the day, he was also able to tell his stories of grand adventure without any of the other counselors heckling him. 

It was 11AM by the time Usopp's group had started their hike. As quickly as they had started, complaints came rolling in. Most of them were related to the heat and bugs, but others were about how they wished that Shanks was leading the group instead. 

"Why isn't the cool one-armed guy leading us? He's the real bear fighter."

"Yeah, aren't you just the archery guy?"

Usopp trekked on, attempting to ignore the questions. However, they kept coming, so he was left with no choice but to answer them. 

"Look, I'm a lot of things. I'm the archery guy, I'm a world-class bear fighter, I'm also a well-known wilderness expert. You ever heard of Bear Grylles? Yeah, well, he says I'm the best the world has to offer."

"I thought you fought bears. Why is a bear complimenting you?" 

"Bear isn't a bear, Bear is a man. I don't fight Bear, but I fight bears. Got it?"

Silence. 

"Good!"

The group began to move again. The discarded leaves from trees crunched under each foot and there was an occasional twig snap, which startled Usopp each time, but he played it off with an obnoxious laugh. 

"Oh, look at this! Gather around, children. It's time to educate the uneducated!" He motioned for his group to come closer. They didn't. 

"Don't you want to learn about the wonders of the wilderness?" Usopp asked uneasily. It was too early in the hike to have his campers disengaged with him. 

"No, we wanna see you fight a bear," a girl responded. A chorus of agreement broke out. 

"Okay, well, no more bears roam these parts. I fought them all off, remember? They're all scared of me. Now, come over here so I can teach you about a mean weed."

Finally, the kids gathered closer. Satisfied, Usopp pointed to a clump of weeds beside him. "Does anyone know what these are?"

"Do they summon bears?"

"No. Enough with the bears, yeah? This is poison ivy." He wiggled his fingers over it, emphasizing its existence. 

"Can you die from it?" 

"No. Well, you could if you're allergic. Anyway, it's a plant that really makes ya itch."

"Can you touch it so we can see what it does in real life?" 

"No. I don't wanna be itchy for the rest of the week. Now," Usopp knelt down, "if you're alone, how do you think you can tell poison ivy apart from other plants?"

"Touch it and see if you get itchy."

"Well, no. There's a saying that goes along with poison ivy. 'Leaves of three, let 'em be'."

Usopp was greeted with silence for the second time on the hike. The only thing that filled the air were the bugs, birds, and distant sound of children screaming down at the lake. Usopp stood up and placed his hands on his hips. 

"You know, I'm not supposed to say this, but I'll tell you. Poison ivy carries a horrific disease. Your arms will fall off if you touch it."

"I though the red-haired guy lost his arm to a bear," a kid responded. 

"We aren't talking about Shanks! We're talking about other people. Moving on, I found the cure to the horrific arm-claiming disease. I saved the world and its arms."

"Really?"

"Sure did. I was awarded with the highest medal of honor from every world leader. They're good friends of mine. I have tea with them once a month."

Finally, Usopp got the response he wanted. The campers were paying attention, along with expressing their feelings of wonder. They were standing in the presence of an actual hero. 

"It insults me when people don't bother to educate themselves on this malicious plant." He emitted a large sigh. "After all I've done for the world, this is how I'm repaid?"

"LEAVES OF THREE LET 'EM BE!" Several kids shouted. Perfect. 

"Good, good, you're a step closer to becoming poison ivy masters. There's one more way to identify it." Usopp pointed to a tree. "There are vines on that one, yeah?"

The campers nodded. 

"Well, poison ivy can sometimes get to you in the form of a _vine_ ," Usopp continued. "You know what the saying for that one is? No? I'll tell you. 'Hairy vines are no friend of mine'."

The campers recited it after Usopp. A satisfied grin formed on his mouth and he nodded. "Excellent. Now you know how to protect your skin from an irritating itch. At least your arm won't fall off."

The group moved on once again. This time, it was Usopp's job to find a bug and successfully identify it for the campers. However, a complaint stopped him from his bug search. 

"I really, really gotta pee!" A boy by the name Carter whined. 

Usopp halted mid-stride. He placed his hands on his hips, puffed his chest out, and turned to face his campers. "You gotta pee?"

Carter nodded in response. He rocked back and forth on his feet as if that would distract him from his need to relieve himself. Usopp took a moment to take in the boy's appearance. Then, he heaved a sigh and shook his head. 

"Carter, has anyone told you?"

Carter stopped his rocking and gave Usopp a puzzled look. 

"Told me what?"

Usopp now crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his chin up, closing his eyes. 

"If you pee in the woods, you become a real man, that is." He added a cocky chuckle afterwards. He didn't have to open his eyes to know that the campers were staring at him in awe. 

"Really?" Carter asked. 

Usopp nodded. 

"Of course. That's how I became the gallant man I am today."

"Can I go pee in the bushes, then?" Carter asked. 

Usopp gestured to the bushes. "Go ahead. We won't bother you."

He knew it wasn't exactly the best idea to put this idea into such young minds, but he wasn't about to deal with bathroom complaints for the remainder of his time with them, which was a while.

Carter made his way into the bushes to relieve himself. As if the timing could be more perfect, a large bug made its appearance on a tree near Usopp's head. It was the perfect opportunity to distract the remaining campers. 

"Heyo, would you look at this!" Usopp stuck his finger out to the bug, allowing it to cautiously crawl onto it. Some kids squirmed uncomfortably. 

"This fella is a long-horned beetle by the looks of it." He held his finger out to the campers, but a majority of them backed away from it. 

"No need to be afraid. It won't eat you! I know how to tame bugs."

"What does it do?" 

"Well, it eats plants."

Suddenly, a scream erupted from behind the bushes where Carter was. The scream startled Usopp, causing him to jump a bit. While he jumped, the beetle dropped off of his finger, landing on a nearby camper. In return, the beetle-clad camper screamed as well, causing everyone else to become more panicked. From the bushes, Carter bolted out, his big brown eyes were wide. 

"There's a bear!" He cried. 

All eyes were turned to Usopp. The counselor went pale. 

"Huh?"

"T-there's a bear! It was walking around back there!"

"Fight it, Usopp!"

"Get rid of it!"

"I thought bears were afraid to come into the woods because of you!"

"Get the beetle off of me!"

Usopp gulped. He didn't think a bear would actually show up. In fact, he didn't think a bear would ever show up over here. Shanks had claimed that bears flat out didn't roam these parts. Was that a lie?

He was about to tell Carter that he was probably hallucinating, but before he could, the leaves in the distance crunched and rustled. Everyone looked to where the noise came from. 

Slowly, a sinister silhouette lumbered along. It was hard to make out what it was exactly, but Usopp decided that he didn't want to stick around long enough to figure out what it was. 

"Let's go in, uh, that way direction!" He pointed in a direction away from the creepy figure. "Quickly!"

"IS THAT BIG FOOT?!" a boy next to Carter asked. 

"Uh, most likely! I haven't fought Big Foot yet! Just run away and I will!" 

The children followed Usopp's orders and ran away. Usopp waited several seconds before following them, screaming. 

"What the hell? Have they never seen a man roam the woods before?" Law asked as he watched Usopp and his group run away in a panicked frenzy. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "God, their screaming makes me want to go deaf." 

The slim man continued his slow walk through the forest. 

"There's no way I'm finding a fucking dog in here."

\--

The sun had started to bear down more harshly as time went on. Luckily, Ace and his group got to start out at the lake. The negative part was that he had to share the lake with Sabo's group. Ace knew damn well that Sabo would be on his ass about everything during this time, but it was in his best interest to ignore it all. 

Ace was sprawled out in the lifeguard chair with his eyes closed. He didn't have to watch the kids to know what was going on. All he did was listen to their shrieking and splashing.

On days that weren't small group days, Ace was the legitimate lifeguard of the camp. Of course, it was a requirement for every counselor to have lifeguard training, but the only person who was able to tolerate the job was Ace. He didn't understand why everyone else was against sitting in the sun and doing nothing all day, but he didn't complain. 

"Ace!" Sabo's voice came from below the chair. 

"Buzz off, I'm catching the sun," Ace responded. 

"Ace, those kids aren't supposed to be swimming out that far. They went past the rope."

Ace opened one eye to see what Sabo was talking about. Sure enough, there were several kids swimming out past the rope that marked the "deep end". Shrugging, Ace shut his eye. 

"Good for them. They're  _advanced_  swimmers."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Take a hike or something. I don't wanna listen to you get your Calvin Klein's in a twist all day."

"It's my job to look out for these kids and follow every rule to a T." 

"Okay, I get that, but like, stop. Go give attention to your fan club."

Sabo shot Ace a quizzical look. "Huh?"

"The group of little girls over there. They keep talking about you because they think you're so darn  _princely_." Ace nodded over to the group. Sabo turned and saw what he meant. 

"You and your stupid blond locks," Ace shook his head. 

"Shut up and focus on guarding lives, dingus," Sabo said and turned back to Ace. 

"I'm doing my job, you shut up." 

Sabo narrowed his eyes and sat below the chair. He was hoping that the shade from the chair would help a little, but it was no use. It was getting a little too hot, and the sun had no mercy on Sabo's back. He'd drown in his own sweat before lunch even came around. 

Pushing the uncomfortable feeling of the heat aside, he brought his attention to the water since he knew Ace wasn't doing it. Everything his eyes landed upon were normal water acts: kids were flipping each other off of rafts, pushing each other off of the dock, and some were sitting on the beach playing around with the rocks. However, the kids that had been swimming beyond the rope had gone even further. By the time Sabo had brought his attention to them, he jumped back up to his feet. 

"Ace!"

"Sabo,  _God_ , you're annoying." 

"Are you not seeing this?"

"No, my eyes are closed."

Sabo decided that it was pointless to continue to argue with Ace. He took matters into his own hands, like always. He climbed up to the top of the lifeguard chair and snatched the whistle that was around Ace's neck. The action startled Ace, but before Ace could reach to get the whistle back, Sabo had already hopped down from the chair. He put the whistle between his lips and blew. 

Sabo had forgotten how wimpy the whistle was. It would be a miracle if those kids heard it. 

"Ace, what in God's green earth is this?" Sabo asked and pointed a finger at the whistle, which was still in between his lips. 

Ace leaned over the arm rest and looked at Sabo. 

"You need to use more air, jesus. How small are your lungs?" He extended his arm. "Give it back to me, I'll do it."

Sabo was suspicious, but he removed the whistle from his mouth and placed it in Ace's extended hand. Ace lifted it to his lips, but before he blew into it, he chucked the whistle into the water. Sabo stared up at him, astonished by such a crime. Ace returned the stare with a shit-eating grin. 

"Oops."

"Ace, you-"

"HEY, KIDS, WHO WANTS TO SEE SABO DO A FLIP INTO THE WATER?" Ace called out. That got the attention of the kids swimming out past the rope, and in no time, they were coming back. 

"Excuse me?" Sabo asked. 

"That's my method of getting people back. Ready?"

Sabo stood, completely baffled, in the middle of the dock. He should've figured Ace was going to pull something like this. 

"I am  _not_  getting into the water," Sabo protested. 

Ace hopped down from the chair and clapped a hand on Sabo's shoulder. "Yeah, you are. It'd be good fun." 

Sabo crossed his arms over his chest and gave Ace a stern look. 

"I can't do a flip into the water. I can't even do flips to begin with."

Ace clicked his tongue several times. 

"Believe in yourself, man. I think you can."

Sabo opened his mouth to retort, but Ace had already began pushing him to the end of the dock. Sabo tried with all of his might to stop Ace from pushing any further, but it was no use. Ace was stronger than Sabo was. His resistance was futile. 

"You better make some attempt to flip into the water or else you'll be letting everyone, including me, down," Ace whispered. 

"No-"

Too late. 

Ace shoved Sabo off of the dock. Everything was going well until Sabo hit the water flat on his stomach. The sound of the contact echoed throughout the lake, causing everything and everyone to go silent. Ace found himself cringing. 

"Well, shit." He muttered. "There'll be no living with him after this."

Ace didn't realize the small crowd of campers that began to form on the dock. Some campers in the water swam closer to the scene of the crime, waiting for Sabo to resurface. 

"Did you kill him?" A girl asked and looked up at Ace. 

"No. He's just being dramatic," Ace responded and laughed uneasily. 

Everyone's eyes stayed put on the spot where Sabo went under. Nothing happened for a few moments, but to Ace's relief, bubbles formed at the surface, and in no time, Sabo's head was out of the water. 

"Sabo! Welcome home!" Ace greeted. The only response he got was an evil glare. 

"That was a sick belly flop!" A swimmer near Sabo complimented. "I wanna try!" 

"Me too!"

"Ace knows how to make good belly flops happen, he's gotta push us!" 

The sudden influx of chatter distracted both Ace and Sabo from the approaching canoe. It wasn't until a camper pointed it out that the two counselors were finally able to acknowledge it. 

"What the hell?" Ace questioned aloud, causing some kids to giggle at the H-E-double hockey stick word. 

There was only one person occupying the canoe. She sat in the middle of it with a pair of binoculars held against her eyes, a serious expression on her face. Her long black hair cascaded down both of her arms, which were probably stiff from holding up the binoculars for so long. Ace and Sabo determined that even she didn't know how close she was getting. 

"Can we help you?" Sabo asked from the water. 

The woman brought the binoculars down at light speed and laughed to cover up the awkwardness. 

"Oh, I didn't even realize I drifted this far. My mistake."

As the two young men looked at her, they both realized that she was one of Buggy's counselors. 

"Hey, you're with Buggy's camp, aren't you? You're not supposed to be here." Sabo advised. 

Suddenly, the woman's embarrassed look turned stone-cold with murderous intent. "I don't need you lowlifes telling me where I can and can't go." Then, her face softened. "Luffy's a counselor here, isn't he?" she asked sweetly. "Luffy is his name, right?"

"What does Luffy have to do with the fact that you're not allowed here?" Sabo interrogated. 

"He...he..." She clapped her hands against her cheeks, which were already reddening. "He apologized to me and I need to thank him!"

Ace, Sabo, and the campers stared at her blankly. It wasn't every day that a crazy woman approached the camp. In addition to that, it was pretty rare for a woman like her to come along and ask for Luffy, of all people. 

"He's busy," Ace responded. The woman's hands dropped to her sides. 

" _Get him_ ," she demanded through gritted teeth. 

"Uh, how about we don't get him? You can go on your merry way. Tell Buggy thanks for the laughs last night," Ace said. 

"We can just tell Luffy you said thanks, if that counts for something," Sabo added. "Can we get a name?"

"Boa Hancock." She flipped her long hair over her shoulders and picked up the oars in the canoe. She narrowed her eyes at Ace and Sabo before making her way across the lake. 

"That's weird," Ace commented as they all watched her go. "She was kinda scary."

Everyone stood in silence for a few more moments before Ace clapped his hands together. 

"Now, who wants to see if they can beat that belly flop?"

\--

"I need to get paid more for this," Law muttered to himself as he finally found himself back in the medical cabin. He dropped himself into the seat behind his desk and kicked his feet up, heaving a sigh. He had wandered the woods longer than he wanted. Shanks did not let up on the dog situation, no matter how many arguing points Law gave him. 

"He may either be the dumbest person I know, or a genius." He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. "Probably not a genius."

Law was grateful for times like these, where he can sit in absolute silence and not be bothered by anyone. Of course, that would all change starting tomorrow. Normally, Law would start to see injured and sick kids from the second day on. The first full day of camp was the only free day he got, since no camper was willing enough to act stupid yet. 

He thought. 

The door to his cabin swung open, revealing Zoro, who held a boy up by the back of his shirt. The boy was sniffling and had dirt all over his face. Zoro, on the other hand, stared at Law, completely not interested in the situation. 

"So, this kid fell and his tooth came out."

Law eyed Zoro and then looked at the kid. Then, he took his feet off of his desk and leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. 

"I'm not a dentist."

"You can at least give him some pain killers or something." 

Law sighed and motioned for Zoro to bring the kid closer. Zoro walked closer, still holding up the boy by his shirt. 

Law looked up at Zoro quizzically. "Well, put the kid down. I don't want to examine someone who's suspended in the air."

Zoro placed the sniffling child down.

God, all that sniffling was going to drive Law crazy. 

Law pointed a slim, tattooed finger at the boy. "Name."

"J-Jameson," he sniffled. 

"Jameson. Open your mouth."

The boy did so. There was a large gap where one of his front teeth should have been. Blood was still coming out of the gap, but that was normal for something like this. 

"It was a baby tooth, wasn't it?" Law asked in a dull voice. 

Jameson nodded and wiped his nose on his arm. 

"Well, it's nothing to worry about. Go lie down on the cot over there and I'll just give you some salt water and pain killers."

Jameson nodded again and climbed onto one of the cots that sat against the wall. 

"What's he need salt water for?" Zoro asked. "I thought you weren't a dentist."

Law stood up from his desk and rolled his eyes at Zoro. "It's just common sense to rinse your mouth with salt water with stuff like this." He walked over to the sink in the back and turned it on, waiting for it to heat up. As he waited Law looked out the window in front of him to see if there was anything happening near his cabin. 

A dog with a lion costume casually strolled past the window, causing Law to have the most intense double take he had ever experienced. He blinked hard several times and then rubbed his eyes, hoping that it was just sleep deprivation that was making him see things. However, the dog walked by the window once again. Its white fur was dirty, its tongue was out, and the lion's mane around its head was sliding back. 

"I thought a rule was not to take drugs in this camp," Law said. "Am I on drugs?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give law a break please god   
> 99% of this chapter sounded better in my head im sorry it's kinda ehhh bc i had like half of it written by the time i made it to new york and i lost its touch   
> buggy's dream team is my life ok   
> my goal for each chapter is to have an iconic law line but i dont think any of these lines were extremely iconic im sorry  
> hope u kinda liked this dont worry i'll update this more often now that im home  
> stay tuned for chapter 3 where we get to see more sabo conniptions and boa hancock making her move


	3. The Circus Comes to Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first full day of camp is nothing what any of the workers at Camp New World expected it to be. Buggy's scheming and Shanks is not having it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa hello it's been a long time since this has been a thing  
> the people demanded it and im here to give the people what they want: a whole new chapter to this wild time!!!!  
> i apologize for disappearing on u guys i just hated what i was writing so i stopped lol  
> HOPEFULLY this doesn't suck too much. hopefully law still is funny to people  
> zoro and law's dynamic is rly saving my life tbh i hope yall get a religious experience from their interactions  
> ENJOY

"Law? What're you staring at" Zoro asked. The green-haired counselor approached the stupefied doctor and waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello? Is the doctor in?"

Without saying a word, Law grabbed Zoro's head and twisted it in the direction of the window. 

"Look," he directed. "Tell me you see it too." 

Zoro shot Law a puzzled look and proceeded to take a glance out the window. Right in the middle of the view was a dog in a lion costume, basking in the sun's rays. Immediately, Zoro's facial features contorted into a look of pure confusion. 

Law removed his hands from Zoro's head and continued to stare at it alongside his coworker. They were so occupied with the presence of such an interesting sight that they forgot the existence of the injured child. 

"My mouth hurts..." Jameson whined from the cot. 

Zoro and Law both waved their hands in a dismissive manner towards the boy's comment. 

"Yeah, got it, be quiet for a minute," Law said. 

"Is it...real?" Zoro asked, dropping his voice to a whisper. 

"I don't know. Are we both on something?" Law questioned. 

"No."

The two men stood in more silence as they continued to carefully watch the dog. The dog nonchalantly sniffed around as it's tail lazily swung from side-to-side. It wasn't a very small dog at all, but it wasn't a size as monstrous as a Great Dane's. By the looks of it, it was a Labrador Retriever, and a dirty one at that. It hobbled around as it sniffed new places, which told Zoro and Law that it was probably a bit old. 

"Who the hell dresses a dog in a lion's costume?" Zoro broke the silence with another question. 

"Shanks. I bet it was Shanks," Law concluded. He turned away from the window, leaving the water running. "I'm going to go talk to him about this. He's officially lost his mind." Law exited the cabin, leaving Zoro and Jameson. Not long after, Zoro went to follow Law, but the feeble voice of the camper stopped him. 

"What are you gonna do about my tooth?" he asked.

Zoro scratched the back of his neck. He truly forgot that there was still a child in here. 

Oh, well. 

"Just go wash your mouth out. The sink is still running," Zoro responded and exited the cabin as well, leaving little Jameson alone. 

Law didn't take the time to knock on the head counselor's cabin. Instead, he barged in. The entrance was so sudden that it left Shanks vulnerable to Law's judgement. In the red-haired man's hand was a half-consumed bottle of alcohol. 

"Law, look, with this many kids around I nee-"

"Where the  _hell_  did you find that dog?" Law interrogated, clearly not interested in the fact that the head master himself was breaking his own rules. 

Shanks stared blankly at Law, his mouth still open from being cut off. 

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb with me, you reckless bastard," Law warned. He walked closer to Shanks until he was towering over the older man in his chair. "You sent me on that dumb dog journey through the woods for shits and giggles when you knew you already had a dog."

Shanks furrowed his brows, trying to assess the situation. He  _did_  send Law on that dog journey partially for shits and giggles, but what was this about an actual dog?

Shanks carefully placed the bottle of alcohol on the desk surface next to him. Then, he gave Law a stern look. 

"Trafalgar, have you been drinking?" he asked. 

"No, for the love of  _Christ_ ," Law responded. "I have not been drinking. Zoro saw it too."

"Yeah," Zoro's confirmation came from the doorway. 

Shanks gave Law another look before peering around the tall man to get a look at Zoro. Zoro was casually leaned against the door frame with a cocked eyebrow. Shanks narrowed his eyes and pointed an accusing finger at him. 

"You. You're supposed to be with your group," Shanks stated. 

"Koala's watching them right now."

"Why?"

"That doesn't matter, just explain the whole dog thing!" Law demanded, clearly exasperated from such an experience. Shanks brought his attention back to Law. 

"Law, I literally have no idea what you're talking about," Shanks answered. "I didn't get a dog."

"Then why-"

Law's question was cut off by a deep bark. All three men jumped at the sudden noise, and Zoro spun around to see where it had come from. To his surprise, the dog was standing directly in front of him, his tongue out and his tail still wagging. Its deep brown eyes were locked on Zoro. 

"The hell do you want?" Zoro asked the animal. 

"There! That's it!" Law pointed a finger at the dog. 

"What the  _hell_ ," Shanks exhaled, "is  _that_?" 

"You tell us!" Zoro responded.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you!" Shanks fired back. "I've never seen that thing here before!"

In response to Shanks' revelation, Zoro and Law had no choice but to give into silence. The three men were dragged into an uncomfortable staring contest with the dog, who still stood before them, tongue lolling. The only noise that filled the space was the soft rustling of leaves in the breeze outside. 

"Do you think it can smell fear?" Shanks asked quietly, earning a swat to the back of the head from Law.

The dog lumbered over to Zoro, who was the closest. It lazily sniffed the counselor's boot before its entire body shook with a sneeze, sending snot all over the material. Zoro's shoulders stiffened with disgust as Shanks erupted with laughter. 

"You damn dog," Zoro muttered through gritted teeth. He sat down where he stood with a prominent frown etched onto his face. The dog leaned forward to sniff his face, but Zoro shooed it away, irritated. 

"I'm not about to let you snot all over me again, bastard," he warned and pulled his boot off, making sure not to touch the result of the dog's sneeze. Then, he tossed it out into the middle of the sunny clearing in front of the headmaster's cabin. The dog turned its head to watch the shoe fly, but it lasted for a brief moment. In no time, the dog was turned back to Zoro, sticking its nose in his personal space once again. 

"Get the hell away from me, flea-brain!" Zoro whined and nudged the dog's head away from him.

"Wait, wait, hold on," Shanks said and stood up from his chair, "does that dog have any tags?" 

Zoro turned his head and looked back at Shanks. The look on his face showed anything but a positive human emotion, and it only worsened as the dog infiltrated Zoro's space once again, completely licking the man's face. The green-haired man's entire face contorted into a look of pure agony and disgust.

"I am  _not_  touching this dog to see if it has tags," Zoro stated. Law and Shanks could tell that he was about to explode. 

"You don't have to touch it to know if it has tags or not," Law commented. 

Silently, Zoro turned his head back to face the dog. He maneuvered around it's round body, making an extreme effort to avoid as much contact as possible. Luckily, his eyes quickly found the purple collar, and better yet, a collar with tags attached. 

"There are tags."

A sigh of relief passed through Law's lips. 

"Great. Is there a phone number or an address?"

A heavy sigh shook Zoro's body as the dog licked his arm. 

"There's an address."

"Cool, let's return this dog!" Shanks declared. 

A pause. Zoro's shoulders seemed to slouch as if the entire world was weighing them down. Before he even opened his mouth, both Law and Shanks already had a feeling of what he was about to say. 

"It's the address to Buggy's camp."

\---

For some reason, Koala didn't question why an entire herd of children came screaming out of the nature trail  _again_. She especially didn't question why Usopp was leading the charge  _again_. Not even ten whole minutes ago, he and his kids had sprinted in a blind terror out of the woods, screaming due to a "bear" sighting. 

"Usopp!" she called out. 

"I don't have time to chat, we're running for our lives!" he responded as he ran towards her, seven children following at his heels. The large group of children that Koala was assigned to watch over (no thanks to Zoro) exchanged confused mumbles. She knew that if Usopp kept up the terror act, her own kids would follow suit. The camp did not need a herd of terrified children running all about. 

Sighing, Koala stepped directly into Usopp's path and held up her hand, signalling for the terror-run to halt. She braced herself for impact, but to her surprise, Usopp and his kids skidded to a halt. 

"You need to calm down," Koala advised and dropped her hand to her side. "What'd you see this time? Another Law-bear?" 

Usopp vigorously shook his head in response. His chest heaved as it fought to regain oxygen. After he took a few deep breaths, he clapped his hands onto Koala's shoulders and stared at her with serious intent. 

"No. We saw a creepy green-haired guy."

Koala narrowed her eyes. She then removed Usopp's hands from her shoulders and gave her coworker a single pat on his own shoulder. 

"You know Zoro gets lost out there all the time, chill out."

Usopp stared at her, eyes wide, as if he couldn't believe the words that had just left Koala's mouth. 

"But it wasn't Zoro!" 

This time it was Koala who stared with wide eyes. She leaned closer to Usopp, dropping her voice to a whisper.

"What do you mean it wasn't Zoro? He's the only green-haired person we know!" 

"I'm pretty sure this dude came from Buggy's camp! You remember Sanji's brother?"

Koala thought back to last night. Buggy appeared with his employees out of the blue, Shanks humiliated him, Sanji freaked out over some creepy green-haired guy named Yonji...

" _Oh_ ," was all Koala managed to respond with. 

"Yeah, this is a problem," Usopp stated. "We've got Buggy's weird people on our turf!"

Koala stood in silence for a moment, processing the situation. If Shanks got wind of these people stepping on his territory, there would be no living with him afterwards. Koala didn't want Sanji's brother to stick around long enough for Shanks to see, so she decided that she could deal with him by herself. 

As she opened her mouth to reveal her plan to Usopp, the exact green-haired man that was spoken of emerged from the nature trail. 

"You guys have way too many paths on that trail, that's some bullshit."

All eyes were focused on this new person. He stood, hunched over, clearly fatigued from all the trekking he had done. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and eyed each of the campers with disinterest. 

"What're you all staring at?"

One little girl from Koala's group pointed an accusing finger at him. "You're a woodland creature! A fairy!"

Yonji's face contorted into an expression of disgust, almost. He snorted, mocking the girl's statement. 

"A fairy? Do you see wings on me?"

"Excuse me! Hey, hi, you're not supposed to be here," Koala spoke and stepped forward, placing her hands on her hips. "You belong across the lake, I believe."

Yonji's eyes immediately met Koala's, and in an instant, he was standing right in front of her, a shit-eating grin reaching from one ear to another. 

"I  _believe_  I belong here with  _you_ , cause  _damn_ ," he said, eyeing her from head to toe. Koala, clearly disgusted by this man's presence, reached forward and grabbed him by the collar of his dirty blue shirt. She yanked him forward so that their faces were inches apart from each other. 

"You quickstep your green ass right back to that trash camp you came from or else there  _will_  be a problem," she threatened through gritted teeth. Usopp, who stood close behind her, immediately shrunk back. 

"Koala, that's a little scary," he whispered. 

Yonji, eyes wide, opened his mouth to respond, but a murderous glare from Koala caused his jaw to snap shut. She got the response she wanted. She let go of Yonji's shirt and pushed him back with only her index finger. He stumbled over his feet in the process and fell backwards, landing hard on his rear. The children erupted into enormous laughter. 

Koala wiped her hands, victorious. Then, she turned to the children with a kind smile on her face. "There was no need to run from him, he's no threat. Just a moron!" 

She turned to look at Usopp next. Her kind smile had faltered; it was now a thin line. He jumped at the direct eye contact, afraid that she was going to pull the same thing on him as she did to Yonji. He expected her to say something, but she stared at him in silence for a few moments. The silence made him squirm uncomfortably; he waved at her with the hopes of getting her to speak. 

"Usopp, lead him back to the lake. Put him back on whatever canoe he came on and make sure he actually goes back to the other camp."

Usopp opened his mouth to ask about his kids, but Koala was already two steps ahead. 

"I'll watch your kids, too. You better make sure Sanji and Shanks don't see him."

"Yeah, I got you. Of course."

Usopp cleared his throat and gestured to Koala. "Hey, Usopp's Little Bear Fighters! You'll be with Koala now, I gotta take this guy out in the woods and make him fight a bear. Sound good?"

"Can we watch?" Asked a boy, bouncing on his feet with building excitement. 

"No, this is a private ritual. You've gotta be eighteen or older to be able to watch something like this, sorry!" 

By now, Yonji had recovered from his fall and stood up, brushing the dirt and leaves off of himself. He shoved a hand deep into the pockets on his red shorts and fumbled around until his fingers reached what he needed. 

"Wait, wait, before you send me away," he began, "I have one thing I'm supposed to give you!" 

Koala turned back to him and shot him the same murderous stare she gave him only moments ago. 

"I don't want anything from you," she declared. 

Yonji flinched at the comment, but then he pulled a crumpled piece of paper out from his pocket and held it out in front of him. "Read it and weep!"

Koala quickly took the piece of paper from him, and as soon as she did, he turned tail and sprinted back into the woods. 

"Hey! Get back!" Usopp called out as he ran after him. Once the two men disappeared in the bushes, Koala sighed and unfolded the piece of paper. In big red letters, the top of the paper said, "Come One, Come All to Camp Grand Line's Grand Reopening!"

Koala stared at the paper for a few more seconds before crumbling it back up. 

"Ace?" She called out. "Ace! I need you to set something on fire for me!"

\---

Once all the campers had piled in the mess hall for lunch, Shanks took the opportunity to grab all of his employees for a meeting. He quickly corralled them into the kitchen, invading Sanji's work space. The cook gave the group a mean stare, but Shanks waved his hand, dismissing the latter's comment before it could even arise. 

"Look, we've got a huge ass problem on our hands," he started. 

"Yeah we do," Sanji interjected, "you're in my fucking kitchen." 

"Okay, one, don't fucking swear. Two, the problem is much bigger than our presence in your kitchen," Shanks responded. "Buggy's scheming."

"How do you know?" Sabo asked.

Shanks pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it in front of the workers' eyes. 

"It's an invitation to go party at their camp tonight. They expect us to bring all of our campers across that lake. They know damn well we don't have that many canoes!"

"Whoa, that's funny, that looks exactly like the piece of paper that Koala begged me to burn up about twenty minutes ago," Ace said, rubbing the bottom of his chin quizzically. 

Shanks shook his head once, trying to process the statement. "Wait, what?"

"Koala was holding the same piece of paper earlier and asked me to set fire to it, but now you have it. That's wild," Ace continued. 

Shanks' eyes immediately searched for Koala. When he found her, he threw up his hand in the air in frustration. 

"The hell, Koala? You mean to tell me there was another dog wandering around? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Wait, dog?" Luffy asked, now interested in the present situation. 

"What do you mean 'another dog'?" Nami asked at the same time. 

"Oh, right, you guys didn't see the dog. Vivi, open the back door, would you?" Shanks asked. 

Vivi raised a brow. "Okay...?"

She squeezed past her coworkers to get to the door at the back of the kitchen. Her hand wrapped around the doorknob. She twisted and pulled it open, and the second it opened, she jumped back, startled. 

"There's a dog!" She gasped. 

"DOG?" Luffy asked, growing more excited. 

"No, that dog is not fucking entering my kitchen," Sanji growled. 

Too late. The dog had already started to waddle into the kitchen, tongue hanging loosely as it eyed the kitchen and the people standing before it. Its nose twitched as the aroma of food wafted around its head. Sanji grabbed the wooden spoon sitting on the counter next to him and aimed it at the dog, ready to launch it. 

"I know what you're thinking, you shitty mutt. You won't get any food from here."

"HE LOOKS LIKE A LION! THAT'S SO COOL!" Luffy yelled over Sanji's string of continuous threats. 

"Oh, for the love of--can we please clear up this story, please? I'm painfully confused about this whole situation and it just keeps getting messier," Sabo complained. 

Shanks snapped his fingers a few times, bringing the attention back to him. Everyone's eyes were back to him, except for Sanji, who kept his eyes and aim locked on the curious dog. 

"Okay, so, Law and Zoro found that dog wandering around earlier. Its tags said that it belonged to Buggy, and the ugly invitation was attached to its collar. Koala, where the hell did you get an invitation from?"

"Sanji's brother was wandering around the woods so he appeared and gave one to me?" Koala responded, unsure of the entire situation in general. 

"Yonji?" Sanji swung his head away from the dog to look at Koala. "He was on our campgrounds?"

"There was an actual employee here?" Shanks questioned. 

"Yeah, he was just...wandering. He scared the daylights out of Usopp and his campers."

"Oh no," Shanks shook his head and groaned. "Oh my lord. Buggy really wants me dead."

"Is that bastard Yonji still here?" Sanji asked. 

"No, Usopp sent him back across the lake," Koala answered. 

The employees of Camp New World mumbled questions and concerns to each other as Shanks was left to tend to his racing thoughts. He rubbed his temple out of stress, it hadn't even been a full day of camp yet and he was already wanting to drown himself in a bottle of whiskey. Buggy was always a persistent bastard--always willing to toss Shanks off his rocker at any given moment. Shanks had no idea that Buggy was this passionate about running something as extreme as a children's summer camp. Shanks sighed, coming to a conclusion for the situation at hand.

"What're we gonna do? Ignore the whole party?" Ace asked, breaking Shanks away from his thoughts. 

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do," Shanks said. He ran his fingers through his already-disheveled red hair and heaved another sigh. 

"We're gonna break our most important rule. We're gonna  _somehow_ bring everyone to this party, and we're gonna act like we hate it the entire time. Whatever insult comes to mind at this party, just say it out loud. Hack away at Buggy's confidence, that's usually the most effective method in battles against him."

The employees stared at Shanks, bewildered. 

"Are you like...intoxicated right now?" Sabo asked. "You're always so passionate about having no interaction with the other camp, and now you're having us step foot on their territory?"

"I'm not intoxicated right now, though I wish I was. This genuinely hurts me. Law, you're gonna need to go into town and buy me several dozen cases of beer or something."

"That's a solid no," Law responded. Shanks shot him a look. 

"Fine, that's fair. My hopes for tonight are that we damage Buggy's confidence to the point where he just quits right on the spot. We need to get rid of him as soon as possible. He's playing a very dangerous game, having his own people show up to our camp so casually like this."

"So it's war?" Ace asked, leaning forward with a hopeful smile. 

"No, it's not war," Shanks answered. "Not yet."

"Damn. We should hold this dog hostage and really make them see that we mean business," Ace continued. 

"No, we are not holding the dog hostage. If we kept the dog here any longer, Zoro, Law, and Sanji would probably go drown themselves in the lake."

Ace shrugged. "Not our problem. I can make funeral arrangements for them." The statement earned a slap on the back of the head from both Sabo and Koala. 

"Would you? That's so considerate of you," Law said.

"The hell are you sounding so relieved for?!" Shanks asked. "Stop acting like this camp is the worst thing that's ever happened to you!"

"I mean it is, but okay," Law mumbled. 

"Anyways! Finish up whatever you're supposed to do for the rest of the day. When dinnertime comes, we will pile onto the canoes and go. Got it?"

"Yes," mumbled each and every employee of Camp New World. 

\---

The remainder of activities scheduled for the day went by without much hassle. No other Camp Grand Line employee showed up uninvited. The kids remained fairly tame throughout the rest of the process, only complaining about heat or bug bites every so often. When the sun had begun to set, Shanks had called a camp-wide gathering. 

"Okay, are you all ready to go have a party at the other camp?" he asked. 

"I thought there was a rule that said we can't talk to the other camp?" a child asked. 

"We're ignoring that rule for right now. I had a change of heart for tonight. Now, you're all gonna hop in some canoes and go across the lake to the other camp, okay? But, your job is to not have fun over there at all. Tell the blue-haired clown-looking guy that he's lame. If you do that, Sanji will give you candy! Oh-la-la!"

"Oh-la-fuck you," Sanji muttered from beside Nami who elbowed him in the side. 

"Whoa there with the language, Gordon Ramsay," she warned. 

At the mention of candy, all the children buzzed with excitement. They were all ready to pile onto the canoes and do their duty so they could taste the sweet victory. As he looked at their excitement, Shanks was feeling a positive outcome for tonight. Like always, he would come in and stomp all over Buggy's hopes and dreams, and damn, what a good feeling that always was. 

After handing out an abundance of life jackets, the campers and workers of Camp New World separated into canoes (which there were more than enough of) and sailed across the lake to meet the hungry enemy camp. 

"Hey, wait!" A child called after the canoes. "You forgot me!" 

Hearing the voice, Zoro and Law both froze in their seats on the canoes. They exchanged a glance as they remembered Jameson, the child they abandoned in the medical cabin. 

"Wait!" Jameson called out again. 

"Do you guys hear anything?" Shanks asked from one canoe over. 

"No, nothing at all. Just your imagination," Zoro quickly responded, mouthing a string of profanities to Law afterwards. 

As Jameson kept calling out to the others, a few low barks joined in as well. The dog was another abandoned soul. This time, it was Sanji who reacted. 

"Was that the fucking dog barking?" he asked. 

"WE FORGOT THE DOG!" Luffy yelled, bringing everyone's attention back to the shore of Camp New World. As soon as the children saw the dog, all Hell broke loose. 

On the other side of the lake, Buggy watched with growing enthusiasm as he saw the canoes rock while children tried to escape to tend to Richie, the abandoned dog. When he heard Shanks' yells of frustration, a large smile grew across his face. 

"All according to plan," he said triumphantly. He turned to face his staff, grinning. "Prepare the fireworks. We're gonna give 'em a flashy welcome!" 

The staff nodded and went to tend to their duties. In no time, the booming and crackling of fireworks erupted over Buggy's head. His smile only grew. This is the exact image he had stuck in his mind for the entire day, and to see it unfold in front of him brought tears to his eyes. 

"Shanks, you lousy bastard, you're gonna kiss your kiddies goodbye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how about that huh  
> it's time for the real party next chapter (and yes i will update and no that is not a lie)   
> let's play a new game called "tag yourself as things camp counselor law says"  
> get ready for MORE CHARACTERS AND MORE SHIT and WAR (ur welcome ace u can finally have ur war)   
> hope u enjoyed :')

**Author's Note:**

> how about that  
> honestly the skit was the most stressful thing to write. i kinda gave up halfway through it bc i forgot the initial idea i had planned for it so that's why it's so bad lmao  
> anyway law is extremely relatable  
> did anyone catch the camp rock reference shanks made? HA  
> it was only fitting that i made buggy the rival camp leader. the banter that he and shanks have in the actual series brings me life and i just had to put it in an au as well.  
> wait till u see the couselors on buggy's side, yo  
> next chapter you'll see adventures with usopp, lifeguard ace, and BOA HANCOCK  
> HOPE U SOMEWHAT LIKED IT!!! i probably won't update this for the rest of the week bc i'll be in new york but you can bet that i'll definitely post some dumb scenarios for this au on my tumblr WOOOO


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